Moving Forawrd...

We all have to... eventually.

She says it's easier if I just learned to hate her. Really? Do you even want to go there? I guess I can't stop you from trying to feed me all sorts of ideas to push me away. And in the end, you got what you wanted anyway. A clean break. No more words beyond this point. What else is there left to say? Can any of that undo what you've done?

Honestly, I can learn to hate you if I want... I can do that to anybody. Then, I start thinking... is it even worth it? Heck, is me writing about this even worth it?

No, it isn't. I'm gonna continue anyway. I know all too well not to let anyone take my life hostage. My mum says that if she did love me enough, she wouldn't have led me on in the first place. She's right. And if you weren't sure this would've worked out, you could've just rejected me.... just like you did the first time around.

Understand one thing: things can... will never be the same again. Even our friendship. It's not my style to bear grudges. It's just that... when something antagonizes you more than once, it's only natural to steer clear of it. I'm doing this for my own good. Like you've suggested it would

You keep apologizing. So what exactly are you sorry for? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?

I guess only time will tell. I can only hope that when the time comes, you would've sorted your own complex issues out....

and hopefully by then I would've found someone better than you.

There! It's done. Dead tired just typing all these rantings out, but I'm liking this reinvigorated interest in blogging. So many things on my mind.... just gotta find an output for them all. Particularly this week where everything seemed to go south for me.

More importantly.... how the heck did I leave my hard disk in school without noticing I did?? And for two days already! Hope some kind DigiPanda soul left it where it was.

Was thinking of changing my blog skin from this dark/emo theme, but I'm probably too mad at myself to do that now. Hope my slumber takes some of the frustration away.

Good night.